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"Wee Mad Arthur looked down at his boots. "My dad made me these boots," he said. "I couldna bring mesel' to tell him I didna like boots on my feet. The whole family had been making and repairing shoes for hundreds of years, ye ken, and I wasna good at the cobbling at all, and then one day all the elders of the tribe called me together and told me I was a lost foundling. They was moving to a new camp, and they ha' found me, a tiny wee bairn, sobbing by the road, right next to a sparrow hawk that I had strangled to death after it had snatched me from me cradle; they reckoned it was taking me home to feed me tae its chicks. And the old gnomes put their hats together and said tha while they were very happy to let me stay, what with being able to bite foxes to death and everything, it might be time for me to go out into the big world and find out who my people were."

-I Shall Wear Midnight, Terry Pratchett

Wee Mad Arthur first appears in the Discworld books as a sewer-dwelling gnome ratcatcher, albeit one capable of incapacitating a full-grown bull via furious headbutting. Thanks to his interactions with the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, and Sergeant Fred Colon in particular, he's joined the Watch and moved up in the world. Thanks to his eventual discovery of his real parentage he's developed a number of other talents along the way. It is best not to underestimate him.

Wee Mad Arthur is from Feet of Clay, I Shall Wear Midnight, and Snuff, by Terry Pratchett. He is the property of Terry Pratchett, his estate and his publishers, and he appears here solely for the purpose of role-playing in milliways_bar, from which no profit whatsoever is being made.